Romantic Books:
How to Be a Babe: Overcome Your Romantic Obsessions and Get the Sex Life You Deserve

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BLESSED BE!!

Only Pretends to Be Just About Sex -
The fascinating thing about this book is that it portends to be about how to "get the sex life you deserve," but it's really about getting the life you deserve-- in all AREAS of life, with sex being only one of them. Davidson's mantra seems to be that if you can't be an authentic person in one area of your life, then you aren't going to be very authentic in the bedroom either, and it works.

This is a very readable text. I loved the whole-person approach, and Davidson has a true talent for writing and gift with words. She spends a lot of time talking about how to undo negative messages from childhood and why women (and men) end up in bad relationships, but it doesn't come off sounding patronizing or like so much other pop psychology drivel in other self-help books. In fact, I did not consider this a "self-help" book at all. I loved settling in with this book at night, feeling like I was talking with a best friend. I thank Davidson for the gift of this book.

AN ENLIGHTENING ESSENTIAL -
I think a review of this book would not be complete if it only mentioned
the sex advice given in the text, since it does not
seem that this is the sole intent of the author. The book is
divided in two--one half focuses on defining the patterns of reacting
to members of our families of origin that continue to
contaminate our ability to approach our significant others with clear boundaries,
both psychologically and sexually. The author
does a great job of showing what boundaries are, and how we
can hold on to them. She is clearly rooting for us, the reader, while
dispensing information in an accessible and sometimes
humorous manner. The writing is polished and lucid, randomly
spiced with enjoyable bon mots.

The second half of the book goes into more detail about many
aspects of a woman's sexuality and sensuality-fantasies,
S&M(the best section on this subject I have ever seen, having no
relation to the skewed versions of the media), ...,
threesomes, g-spot, etc. There is a wealth of information here,
but the tone of the book does not make the reader feel that
she is being judged by which option she may choose, if any.
The point is not only to allow women access to as much information
as possible, but to help women get rid of negative self-talk that
is taken for granted in a sexual culture that is still dominated by male
interpretation--i.e., that certain behaviors are "slutty," or "if I think this,
I am a BAD girl," etc. The only place for words like these are in a
fantasy that gives one pleasure, not in an actual belief
system.

Even though this is a hip and enjoyable must-read, it is also
a serious book. A GREAT combination!

How to Be a Babe should be one of those break through books for this decade. With so much of the 80s and 90s having been absorbed by AIDS and then the retro anxieties of extra-marital affairs, my heart jumped a beat when I found How To Be a Babe. While clearly written for mainstream audiences it nonetheless thoughtfully and intelligently discusses things like the g-spot and female ejaculation, swinging, polyamory and anal sex.

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